Well, I’m extremely intrigued by this! Because it sounds so much like what happened to me about 25 years ago, when I changed jobs from an 8-5 office, to an on-call technician position. I had a couple of months of scheduled work to do, reports to write for my customer, and then it was sit and wait for the service calls to come in.
I started sliding into depression. When I went to my primary care physician, described my situation, and talked to him about my thoughts (which were tending towards ‘not good thoughts’; I’ll leave it at that) his words were succinct:
“You’ve lost all the structure in your life”
Some medication, some forced structure added back & things got better. And this was before I myself realized (or even learned) about my own ADD. With that knowledge, what I experienced was practically inevitable!!
So, yeah, what you’re experiencing is real, the lack of structure and the endless infinite possibilities are a type of hell for you.
Given that, I’ll turn the question around: What do you think you should do now?
Looking forward to your and everyone elses’ answers.