This hits home for me. My son has ADHD and his impulsiveness and lack of focus for things he isn’t interested in is hard to sustain and control. My husband was so against medicine for him at 7 and I was also but changed my mind seeing how poorly he was doing in school. He too, concerned the side effects would be negative. And some were. There is not a one fix for all people. He started on Focalin and Intunive. We thought they were a good choice and dose for him but as he got older and aware of his body he was able to explain how he was left with feelings of anxiety. We switched to Stratera and Zoloft. He became suicidal. Tough times. I don’t wish this on anyone. We finally tried Adderall and Prozac and that was the right combination for him. We discovered that like his cousins, that the extended family will respond the same way to the same drugs.
I can and do understand the thoughts and concerns that your parents have. However, the right meds and dose will create in you the ability your looking for and therefore, the longing for self-medication will no longer be an issue. There are non-stimulant drugs that can do wonders for you to learn and accomplish the things you will need to do to be a successful person on the planet. You’re old enough to know how you’re feeling and you will communicate that to your doctor and therapist and parents. You’re an adult now and although you still live home your parents have to cut the cord and allow you to know what’s best for you and trust that you know when your body and mind feel good. You need to communicate to them that you have to at least try. They will be able to see a large difference in the way you present each day and together you will overcome this. This will also improve your self-esteem and that will do wonders for you! Good luck! My very best!!!