Reply To: I don’t fit in and I’m sick of blaming myself


I’m sure that the other people have already said something similar to what I’m going to say, but I just did a lot of math work and my brain hurts too much to read the other responses XP
I’m a junior in high school, I got diagnosed in spring of last year, but I’ve always known I had ADHD even though I didn’t really know what it was ‘cuz my teachers kept saying I did.
I know for a fact that so many people with ADHD, especially teens, have trouble with like no one likes them. It’s called RSD, rejection sensitive dysphoria. It makes us ADHD brained kids feel like every small “not now” or “sorry, i cant” means “i secretly hate you” or “i think youre weird”. It makes us extra sensitive to anything that mildly sounds like rejection, which is. So much fun. Plus, with ADHD brains being at a higher risk of having anxiety than non ADHD brains, it just makes us a whole mess of “everyone hates me”.
I was just talking to my therapist about this this morning. She told me to think of the last time I remember a friend telling me I was weird/annoying. I couldn’t think of one. Then she asked when the last time I thought a friend was annoying was. I couldn’t think of one, again. She explained to me that we tend to be egocentric- we tend to think that the world pays more attention to us than it really does.
Just remind yourself that only you pay that much attention to the things you’re worried will make you seem weird. You gotta give yourself an internal pep talk- that’s what my therapist said. Next time you feel like your friends don’t like you, just think “My friends don’t think I’m weird. My friends are still my friends. Only I noticed the weird thing I did.”
It can be hard to make friends with people your age, also, because ADHD brains mature slower, and that’s just how it is. If you’re at a smaller school, you might not be able to make more friends than the ones you have because less people will be as goofy as you, but if you’re at a big one like mine (3,600+ kids enrolled) you will be able to find more friends somewhere, you just have to look.
I hope that helped and also made any sense 🙂