I believe it was Maya Angelo who said, “When you know better you do better.”
You didn’t know about your ADHD or your daughter’s ADHD, so you did your best with the info you have. Now you know, so now you can make changes to do better.
I encourage you to stop thinking of your daughter’s outbursts as tantrums. She’s not in control of them because she’s struggling with frustration and her emotions and she doesn’t know how to convey them more appropriately. With ADHD, her brain gets flooded.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism