Not a parent yet (but my future kids will probably have ADHD – I have it, MIL has it, and husband suspects he has it), but I’d never give a four-year-old these meds at the behest of his teachers and non-specialist doctor, and I say that being a huge fan of stimulants because they’ve changed my life for the better.
Keyword MY life. I take stimulants because the quality of MY life was degraded by ADHD symptoms. Is your son at a point where he himself feels impaired by yet-to-be-diagnosed ADHD or it’s reducing his quality of life? I’d guess not because he’s a four-year-old and preschool is (literally) fun and games. I think for a kid that young, some things to start with would be clean diet with more protein (especially for breakfast) and way less added sugar and refined carbs, and making sure he has ample time to run himself ragged outside. Seriously, diet and exercise WORKS, but it’s much harder to pull off in today’s climate of structured indoor playtime/school and our godawful food supply. Back in the day, kids would be turned out all day, enabling them to get a hit of endorphins and keep ADHD symptoms in check, but today, those same kids can’t cope because they’re cooped up and have no release, and they cross over into having a disorder.
Lastly, even though I’m a fan and proponent of stimulants for ADHD treatment in (older) kids and adults, I find it extremely distasteful for PRESCHOOL teachers to advocate that you drug your kid for their convenience, and that your kid’s doc would go along with it and prescribe him an inappropriately high starting dose of amphetamines before he’s even formally diagnosed. Just… ugh.