You are not alone, my wife was treated for depression and generalized anxiety for years until it was discovered that she had ADHD. The issue is the system and its male centric diagnosis, and outwardly women tend to compensate much better than men. Nonetheless, things are changing but I feel your anger and disappointment. Her doctor recommended co-therapy of Adderall XR twice a day and Clonidine at night. That regiment has worked well for anxiety and ADHD conditions; perhaps you can talk about it with your provider.