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With an IEP you can request accomodations to a Kindergarten day, which might include a shorter school day within K or even part of the day in the TK room. Unfortunately TK is a state program limited to certain birthdays. The school district only receives funding for TK students if they meet rhe TK birthday criteria, hence the flat NO you are getting. But within the K day there are lots of adjustments that can be made due to the IEP.
Don’t talk with the school secretary any more. Go straight to your district’s Special Ed director, that is who has the power to allocate resources and accomodations. Email her requesting an intake IEP where accomodations can be put in writing, and remember you can always request a new IEP if changes/updates to his program are needed. Always do so by email so there is an electronic record of your request.
Working with school bureacracy is frustrating because some rules are inflexible. Fortunately your son’s IEP will give him the wiggle room he needs (figuratively and literally).
Best of luck to your little one!