I know how you feel. No one else understands you so you feel like you have to prove something before they’ll even consider being friends. I too developed substance abuse issues because of this and I don’t want you to go down that path so my advice is to dive deep in team sports and after school clubs. You need to find an organized group with something that interests you. Maybe art club, chemistry club, track and field. You have control over the situation, it’s their loss if they don’t want to hang out. You’re awesome and you know it! Just find a good space that allows you to branch out and make friends with nice people. Know your worth and get involved. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, and don’t ever give up.