Reply To: Advice please

#108844
trying2understand
Participant

Thank you for your reply. We had another discussion last night and I am not sure how I feel about it. I have done many of the things that you have suggested. It is just frustrating that he is more worried about his work performance over all else when he doesn’t have a medicated experience to compare it to. He sees my telling him how I feel as a lecture. Then he shuts down because all of our conversations are about how he is doing everything wrong even though I am not saying that. I am using phrases such as I am trying to understand, tell me what you need me to do, what am I not getting, we both need to… I try very hard not to do the blame game. Then I get told that he no longer enjoys talking with me for those reasons. And then I ask if I don’t have reasons to be upset and he gets defensive saying I didn’t say you didn’t.

I did find out that he has only been on Rx once for about 8 months and he felt weird. And he is afraid by going back on it that he will lose his edge at work because he gets fantastic ideas as is and is afraid of losing that ability. He admits that the weird feeling could be because for 40+ years without, he doesn’t know what “normal brain” feels like and that maybe he didn’t give it a chance. It helps him focus more and his relationships are better. He is very fearful of losing his edge at work and not having those great ideas. I countered with maybe they will be even better and come even faster because you will be more focused. That didn’t get far.

So I guess my questions are now these:
How do I encourage the meds and fear of work success decline?
How can I navigate the fact that he knows he is creating an environment of behavior/treatment that is upsetting but “can’t control it” but holds me accountable for being hurt/upset by it?
How do I know if he is not listening/forgetting/drunk forgetting/ADD hearing but not absorbing what’s said?

Thanks so much!