Reply To: My Adhd alcoholic spouse is a walking time bomb

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MommyManiac1963
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Having grown up with an active alcoholic, I speak from experience when I STRONGLY recommend you find the closest Al-Anon meeting asap. There you will find others who have and are experiencing the same struggles as you are living with an alcoholic. You will find warmth, caring, support, understanding and anonymity. A safe place to speak freely about what you’re going through. Al-Anon saved me and my relationship with my Dad. Also, as you feel better and stronger, it will make a difference in your home. You son will eventually notice and want what you have, and you can show him where to get it. Children of alcoholics can end up alcoholics themselves. The only reason I didn’t is because of Al-Anon. Go to at least 6 meetings before you make up your mind about it. I know there are other issues at play, but as you become stronger and less stressed, it will help with those too. It’s time to take your focus off your husband and focus on yourself. After all, we can’t change another person, we can only change ourselves and how we deal with others. Millions of wives, children and anyone else being affected who go to Al-Anon can’t be wrong.
I wish you well and try to take things one day at a time because you can’t change the past and tomorrow isn’t here yet. ❤
One thing I had to learn, and I learned it by going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, is that my Dad was in just as much pain as I was, maybe more. No alcoholic drinks because they want to. It is a disease, never kid yourself about that. They drink to help them feel as worthwhile as they think others already are. Your husband needs Alcoholics Anonymous but he will never go until he hits rock bottom and realizes he doesn’t have everything under control. The only reason my Dad stopped drinking was because he took a friend with a drinking problem to a meeting. He heard something that resonated with him and went to 90 meetings in 90 days as they recommended. His friend never went to another meeting, but my Dad did, and was 45 years sober when Alzheimer’s took his memories.
Trust me when I say that there us hope and help and you will become better – you will get as much as you put into it.
Stay strong and find that meeting and go TODAY!
*Contrary to what you may or may not have heard about Al-Anon, it is not a religious organization.
Please post and let us know how you’re doing.