I don’t know if you have already been diagnosed with adhd but your story certainly sounds like adhd to me.
I’m a 48 yo woman who wasn’t diagnosed until my late 30’s. You sound like me as a teenager. I had no self esteem and ended up depressed and at one point contemplated suicide.
The day I received my adhd diagnosis and took my first dose of Adderall I remember thinking “oh my god …this is what it feels like to be normal ??!!??!!” I spent so many years angry that I lost all of those years to adhd.
I don’t mean to be so blunt – it comes with age-but if I were you I would do a trial of stimulant medication for sure. It changed my life.