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Hello OP and everybody else.
I just want to offer an alternative take on this.
Firstly I do acknowledge your entirely valid distress OP, and I agree with others that the school should have been discussing this with you, especially as it seems to be a punitive measure in response to your child’s behaviour, rather than a positive accommodation intended to help them.
Inclusion, acceptance, and having the feeling of belonging is very important to children, but that can be manifest in different ways, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is ‘best’ for a child to have the same arrangements as their ‘normie’ peers.
When I was eight or nine years old (I think that is around 3rd grade) I finished a piece of work early (and sloppily, of course!) and took myself off to a desk facing the wall in the corner of the classroom. I was in search of stimulation, and there was a stack of books on the corner desk. I started reading. After some time the teacher came to see what I was doing, asked me some questions about the book I was reading, and then left me to it.
This became a regular occurrence. Whenever I was bored I sat in the corner and read. This was three decades ago, nobody had a diagnosis. I think the teacher just recognised that I was gaining more from sitting in the corner reading than I was from being bored and distracted during whatever the rest of the class was learning.
This did not have a negative effect on my socialisation. I maintained my relationships with classmates during recreation breaks. They would also come by the corner desk to visit me. I didn’t feel ostracised, conversely I felt kind of special, privileged even. I remember this as a rare happy time from school.
What I am trying to convey here with this long ramble, is that even in this time of diagnoses and accommodations, schooling retains a ‘one size fits all’ approach in many respects, and that can’t be 100% effective, because of our differences, furthermore inclusion for the sake of it is not always the best answer.
OP I hope you get to the bottom of this and find a resolution that allows you peace.