I actually didn’t do too badly in my life (I’m 76 now)……….but I always seemed to have to struggle more than other people.
I wasn’t diagnosed with ADD until my 70’s. Previously I had been taking Paxil (for depression) for some 20 plus years.It seemed to give me a bit more control on my life, but not a great deal. In any case, my doc was reluctant to presribe stimulants (ritalin, concerta, etc) at my age. So we tried generic Strattera….which is not a stimulant and works on the brain chemistry in an entirely different manner. It has made a huge difference in my life. Obviously, it doesn’t work for everyone.
Your specific case reminds me of myself many, many years ago when I had 3 young kids. I went to a counselor since I simply could not cope with keeping things organized, food shopping, cooking, etc. on a very limited budget.
The counselor was an older woman, and gave me some advise on where to start. Start in the kitchen……get it organized, and make a daily routine to keep it tidy. Do the same for your bathroom(s). If you can keep these two rooms mainly tidy & sanitary………. don’t worry too much about the rest of your house. In fact, try not to even “see” the rest of the house for as long as it takes to feel more comfortable with all your duties. That might be several weeks, or several months, or even several years.