Reply To: How do you cope?

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I have never posted before but when I saw the post from C Nicole, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve had ADHD all my life and take medication for it but it doesn’t work very well anymore. C Nicole sounds like my twin sister and I mean my “identical” twin sister. I have lost hope that anything will ever get better for me. When I was younger the meds worked better and I got through some college but I had a brain tumor removed in May 2012 and the meds have hardly worked since then. I wanted to go back and finish my last 12 credits and graduate but it just isn’t going to happen.
My husband just thinks I fake all of my problems and that I am lazy. My kids who are grown now and have their own kids won’t even talk to me and they live across the street. I have had no contact with them for almost a year. Since the surgery, I tend to interrupt people, go off topic, talk to loud and talk about things that are inappropriate for their kids to hear. After I do these things I go home and realized what I did but by then its too late. I already made myself look like an idiot. About a year ago I was talking to the grandkids who are 13 and 14 about relationships and I guess it wasn’t appropriate because when my son got home from work he came over and said I was no longer welcome at their house and not to contact them. It is very hard because I know they think I’m just stupid and have no social skills but I am their mom and I raised all 5 of them the best I could. They also blame me because their Dad divorced me for the same reasons.
I read all the books I can find and read my ADDitude magazine which at least helps me be aware of what happened but I also have severe RSD. I don’t have a social life anymore. I’m afraid to go near or talk to anyone because I’m afraid I’ll say something wrong like I usually do. I just sit in my room and read books all day. I’ve tried to find a job but my last boss fired me because I was too disruptive. I tried not to be but my brain just does it even though I try so hard not to. I am 57 and I keep wishing I would die this young and not in my 90’s like my mom and grandma but it scares me to think I will be this lonely and stupid for the next 30 years.
Is their anyone out their that has ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity and learned out to get better?