I would urge you to consider treatment for your ADHD. If you don’t address it, it can’t get better. Much of your anxieties could be triggered by untreated ADHD.
It also sounds like you may have some Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
You can work on those feelings of shame too
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism