I don’t have this situation at home. However, it’s funny that I can clearly see the effects of medication on my teen son. I see how it softens his harsh reactions, reduces his complaining, helps him interact socially, smooths his thoughts and lessens his general chaos. I also have ADHD, and when medicated properly I get better in those areas. Yet medication is tricky. Blood pressure, spiritual insight, personality changes, stomach issues, side-effects. It’s so tricky to know how much I change from within myself.
I don’t think as an adult we have the right to tell someone they must medicate. Yet, I have a dear friend whose mom had bi-polar, but would never treat. For about two years her mom tried to quit smoking and used a medication to quit smoking that also treated bi-polar. My friend said those were the best two years of her entire relationship with her mom. That is one reason I may take medication breaks, but I won’t give up seeking help for my ADHD.
There is a book called “My Brain Needs Glasses” for kids and I think one called “My brain still needs glasses” for adults. Maybe if you seek some guidance from a therapist for adhd help and read some books you can share your insight with your girlfriend. People usually need to be brought to a point of decision—but they must decide on their own.
Best wishes for a peaceful relationship.