Reply To: Really struggling, any advice appreciated please

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Honey18
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Hi there, thank you so much for your lengthy replies and I’m sorry I haven’t come back until now.
*Spaceboy* thank you for being so kind and understanding. In response to some of your questions, no I am not on any medication and I do not have any coaching strategies in place. I have not been diagnosed as I only recently came across this site when I was reading about something to do with my son. The more I read about ADD the more I thought that is what I am like. I am already taking quite a bit of medication for another condition and so would be very reluctant to take any more. I would prefer to try and adopt some strategies to help myself, which is why I spend a lot of time on the internet looking for ideas, but then before I know it I’ve been on there for hours and then have immense guilt for wasting time. I have found this website immensely useful so far, the only thing is there are so many links to good articles that I spend too much time on here!

I found it very interesting what you said about the FOMO and that the phone and social media are designed to do this and keep us wanting more. I feel like I’m constantly looking for the perfect answer, only there is always more than one and then I feel overwhelmed.

I don’t have any hobbies as such but I have plenty of things I could be doing in the house to make it more efficient, more organised and less stressful for everyone. I would love to be able to put my phone down and get on with these tasks. The other day after I read your post I came home and played a game with my daughter for an hour and her little face was so happy. We had a lovely time but ashamed to say I kept thinking how long until I can look at my phone😟
I have not been on facebook since I first posted is the other day and I have to say I do not miss it. I think I can manage without it. But it’s all the other websites I crave, like this one, ones that I think hold the solutions to all my problems. Some nights I’m in bed late at night reading a self help book on my kindle. Then when I wake up I can’t remember anything I’ve read! How can I remember all these great ideas? They just go in and out of my brain so I’m no further forward.

*jfrutrx* I totally agree that it sets a bad example for the children. My daughter has said to me before mummy you always like looking at your phone. It makes me feel sad when I see other parents out and about just looking at their phones and ignoring their kids, it looks awful, but that is me, although I don’t do it when I’m out of the house with them. I haven’t tried putting the phone in another room yet, but I will try this although I know I will be constantly thinking about it. I will take a look at that book you suggest but again how can I remember the strategies?

*JadeFlores* you’re right about wanting some downtime when I get home. After work I just want to relax for a bit and looking at my phone is like my little treat, except I can’t limit myself so the treat ends up with me feeling guilty. You’re also right about being overwhelmed by the number of things to do. I look around in despair and never know what job to do first so do nothing and go on my phone! It’s like I go into my own little zone where I don’t have to face the reality of being a responsible wife and mother. Sad I know. I am ashamed and I want to change.

Just want to add that we do spend a lot of time together as a family at weekends although my phone still never leaves my side, so my kids are not neglected. I just feel I could be so much happier if I spent less time on phone as I could use the time to keep on top of tasks so they don’t end up stressing me and the family out.

I will re-read all your suggestions and give them a try. Thank you.