Thank you for your response.
Yes, I was diagnosed by psychiatrist and doctor as hyperactive disorder when I was a kid (5th grade).
Back then (1977) they were hesitant to put me on meds because I excelled in school. Shortly after that school took a nose dive sadly. I get bored quickly.
My symptoms are that my thoughts go extremely fast. It is hard for me to focus on one thing for long, unless I obsess on that one thing. When it is very bad, I cannot even watch an entire television program or movie without fast forwarding through large chunks of it. At the worst I cannot even listen to an entire song on the radio in the car, I will bounce around from song to song even on songs I like. Seems like a small thing I know but it represents the feeling I have that I cannot even slow down enough to absorb things I enjoy.
At the worst I feel like I am a piano wire strung so tight I may break, and vibrating at a very high pitch.
I function at a very high level when I am like that and that will go on for months and then eventually I come apart an crash under anxiety of not handling my life and work appropriately. I run at a high pace, but still only accomplish just enough to get by. I rarely can finish complex projects entirely without missing something, which is a problem for me because I’m a Network Engineer.
As far as the bi-polar meds… I do feel in a haze all the time since I started taking them even though they appear to “stabilize” my mood as they are supposed too… I feel like I am walking through mud all the time now.
I guess I will need to find and talk to a GP here and try to get a Psychiatrist to talk to. I’m frustrated because I can’t seem to get a call back from Psychiatrists and the one office I did landed me talking to this Nurse Practitioner that seemed to ignore my previous diagnosis.
She confused me too, because she said if my mind is moving too fast, that ADHD medication will make that worse. I thought that if you don’t have a hyperactive mind, that adhd meds sped you up, but that if you are like us with adhd it actually slows us down to a more normal speed…
Not sure what to do at this point… I guess I will find a doctor and start there… and continue looking for a psychiatrist.