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(I’m taking a deep breath because I even get rejection on forums…)
(I never heard of RSD either until this website- SO: Thank you ADDitude!)
If you don’t want to/can’t afford to go to a doctor about this, I don’t blame you. I’ve tried counseling many times over a 25-year span and they have been quick to jump on the depression thing, but that never felt right. More importantly, I never really felt listened to.
If you can print the quiz results out, do… and when you are calm, I’d go through and write down examples next to each answer to review/reflect periodically. Not to beat yourself up with, but to get to an Aha! moment or at least streamline your thoughts, look for trends, connections, etc.
I’m not a professional, but there are workbooks on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (one being Mind Over Mood) in bookstores/check out books at a library (get a handful and sit and skim through them before committing any money or possible overdue library fees), do the Amazon search… whatever works for you. Not to diagnose, but to learn and “arm” yourself with insight/tools.
Have you considered temporary positions? Taking temp jobs could lessen the stress of $ and rejection…The jobs are temporary anyway, so if they don’t like you, the issue could be on them. Or you might not like them! Or you could mesh wonderfully. I’ve had a few jobs start out as seasonal/temp and turn into 5+++ years full-time gigs. (One lasted 18 years!)