Reply To: Feeling resentful about his ADHD

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Spouses & Loved Ones Feeling resentful about his ADHD Reply To: Feeling resentful about his ADHD


Thanks @ADHD Pun Here for your reply. I see a lot of ADHD sufferers saying that they themselves have to take action. It makes me happy that this is possible but sad that we haven’t reached that place yet in our relationship where he would make sure he’s taking his medication daily and at the right intervals etc.

I felt a bit better a few hours after writing the post. But reflecting, I feel like it is very difficult for me to follow through on my boundaries mainly because his behaviour does not allow me to do so. Often I tell him ‘If you do x, I will have to go to the other room’ but when he is not on his meds (all of the issues only occur when he is not on his meds), he then will block me from going to another room or follow me and talk outside the door begging me to immediately forgive him. So I don’t get the space I need to calm down and not become this really angry person. I had been given advice to go for a walk and come back, but sometimes it can be evening/night or I simply want the right to be in my own house. It is very upsetting.

I guess I can’t try any harder because I don’t think I am the problem anymore. I have my boundaries repeatedly crossed and if it is true what he says that he is trying his best, I feel sad that maybe his best is not enough for me to not feel stressed for the majority of time. He blames me for a lot of his behavior and later claims he is only joking. I am not sure I have enough good grace to make this work.

I feel utterly heartbroken, over and over.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by ADHDSpouse123.