Thanks all. You’re right about keeping calm and not threatening to leave in the heat of the moment.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I have tried the talking loudly (not shouting) thing, an agreed word to act like an alert, slapping his face (but only because he asked me to do that, saying a word wasn’t enough).
Since I started this post, I have wanted to leave three times already. It is exhausting crying every few days.
I try to do extra things around the house to make his life easier. Every small thing he complains about I immediately try to change so he doesn’t get angry. But he keeps nitpicking at things, parroting everything I say and being insensitive.
I know no one can answer for me, but when is it time to just say I can’t do this anymore? (Rhetorical question).
I have turned into a person I hate. I find I am just crying or bickering or floundering. But I know how I am feeling now will pass and I’ll forget I felt like this until the same time tomorrow or the day after probably…
He says he’s made an effort with his meds, but alarms, notes, me telling him…nothing seems to mean he will regularly take them. He says he immediately forgets and I don’t know how truthful thst statemrnt is or not.
I am so tired right now. Forget sll the nice words I wrote so many times in this thread…I write them on fairly good days. I know I am not at rock bottom right now but perhaps more and more resigned to the fact that if I want to stay in this relationship, this is the bestbit will be. I will have to accept to be unhappy a lot of the time or get some courage and leave. Instead I’m going around in endless circles, hoping and trying. And who knows how much effort he is placing in except for him? I see some evidence of it, but I know nothing will work without the meds. Maybe he says he wants to change but perhaps in reality he is half hearted. I don’t know.
Sorry to be negative today everyone. I know it’s not like me and I usually see a silver lining, but I am struggling today.