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Your are questioning your instincts to tell her your negative thoughts and you are not blurting them out. Those are not the habits of a jerk. And I would continue keeping it to yourself.

The urge to compare and the judgmental thoughts are not ADHD specific although if you were actually blurting the thoughts outlaid that might come under impulsivity which is an ADHD trait.

It’s human to have passing thoughts both positive and negative about our loved ones and even strangers. If you are able to contain yourself when you know they are inappropriate and if they are not taking up too much space, interfering with your ability to enjoy your wife or think about other things, I wouldn’t worry about it.

If this a new thing and the thoughts become regularly intrusive and difficult to contain, it might be worth talking to a counselor something else may be going on.

Best Wishes,