It is great you are being so proactive! I have two recomendations a book that parses out how ADHD may be contributing and a website on marriage relationships and negotiating successfully. Together they give great strategies and principles to stay in a sane loving mutually respectful relationship.
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder
by Gina Pera (Author), PhD Russell Barkley (Foreword)
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/index.html Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr.
I have read a ton of relationship books (related to work, parenting, and marriage) over the past 25 years. This is the first on marriage that I’ve found that resonates on every level. I haven’t scoffed at one bit and more amazingly neither has my husband. It covers more than you are asking about but it’s principles allow you to devise a plan for managing the house that will work for you both without causing resentment in either.
This may be especially helpful to the poster AJ, they definitely have your back.
The author does have a christian background but it is not apparent except in videos where he is interviewed by a christian program host. He definitely does not subscribe to the viewpoint that either spouse has the right to make demands of the other.
household of 5 and husband is the only one lacking ADHD