Reply To: Bullying, PTSD, Learned Helplessness and my life now

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DonkeyLady
Participant

I’m almost 59 years old, and I understand where you’re coming from. I was just diagnosed with ADHD five years ago – previous dx’s included depression and GAD. I was bullied in school as well – in the 60’s ad 70’s, it was just the way it was. I never told my parents, because there was nothing they could have done about it. Stephen King literally saved my life – the movie, “Carrie” had just come out, and one day when I was surrounded by a group of taunting girls I just snapped and started screaming at them like a banshee. They all backed away and one of them said, “Oh my God, she’s just like Carrie.” I was left alone after that day. 🙂 I hadn’t seen the movie (no money for movies in my house!), so I went to the library to find out who this “Carrie” was and thus began my life-long love of Stephen King’s books – very cathartic!

I still punch myself and hit myself in the head sometimes… 🙁 I am also working hard on fixing this, but I have over half a century of bad habits to relearn, so it’s taking a while.

Pain causes your body to create endorphins, something we ADHDers tend to have too little of – there are healthier ways to get those endorphins than banging your head: Music, dancing to said music, exercise, meditation, HUGGING(!!!!) – even eating sweets is better than hurting yourself – says the woman who just ate two ice cream sandwiches half an hour ago – they were low fat, at least… 🙂

We ADHDers are wired differently than most people, but that’s not all bad. Find your “superpower(s)” and revel in it. If someone gives me the right book(s), I can learn anything – I’ve since learned that this is probably due to ADHD “hyperfocus.” I used to be a nursing assistant and I had a special gift with working with people with dementia – I was able to relate to them on whatever wavelength made them most comfortable, even if that wavelength was 80 years into their past- most people don’t want to look “weird,” but I am way beyond that worry by now! 😀 My ADHD causes a lot of problems for me, but it also gives me the ability to do a lot of things most “normal” people can’t – I’m learning to live with it. A lot of people are put off by my odd behavior, but I’ve decided that my ADHD symptoms provide a good litmus test for friendship. I have very few friends, but I know that those friendships are real.

I’ve been married to an amazingly patient man for the past 37 years. He accepted the ADHD dx before I could – when the psychiatrist began to describe the symptoms, he suddenly said, “Well, that explains a LOT.”

Just remember, you’re not alone. One piece of advice I can pass on: Be kind to yourself. It’s so important, I’ll repeat myself in all-caps: BE KIND TO YOURSELF. I wish good luck to you…

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by DonkeyLady. Reason: A bit of explanation