Hello and wow you are supermum. I have just been referred to adhd/ asd specialists at the age of 40. I understand now why I have been in a constant state of overwhelm for almost of my life. I have always taken on too much and find I can’t cope, normal everyday interactions and activities send my stress levels of the scale.
I realised now I need a structured , organised life, keeping a diary, setting alarms on my phone help me with this. I also need a simple life, without unnecessary contact, such as social media, althoguh I do use it as it’s free advertising for my business. I have turned off all notifications on my phone as you will know how easy it is to get distracted. I don’t know if it is possible for you to cut down the level of responsibility you have taken on. I find with adhd / asd I can never do anything to my full ability, which upsets me a great deal, adhd is wanting to but not being able to enjoy anything I do, neurotypicals can juggle all the balls without getting stressed out.
Make a time table to see at a glance how you are spending your time see if you can give up anything to free some of your time.
Hope that helps