Here it is New Years Eve 2019 and I spent most of last night reliving episodes of mum being abused.
Yes I have ADHD and PTSD.
As a child I watched her abused by our father and as and intervened at her request. As adult I saw her abused by a brother and again intervened at her request. Being a religious family I’d be required to say nothing to anyone due to the shame. The irony was if I’d try to tell anyone mum would turn on me, and if she were to tell anyone her husband and later my brother would turn on her. It was a vicious cycle of love, hate and shame.
So I get how messed up you end up.
For me the code of silence demanded by both
abusers and our religious comminity is the real killer. In our religious context you’re effectively excommunicated and violence applauded. Go see a local lawyer and you’re told you risk black listing if you go to the Police … by the Police! Yes, being silenced is like strangulation and from my experience it only serves to amplify symptoms such as shame.
My advice is gentle honesty, your partner chose you when they could have chosen from a million others, so respect that love with gentle honesty.
My partner responded with love to my shame and I pray yours does too.
- This reply was modified 2 years ago by ross.j.blade.