Home › Welcome to the ADDitude Forums › For Parents › Friendships & Activities › My 13yr hates when friends ask her about her accommodations › Reply To: My 13yr hates when friends ask her about her accommodations
I struggled with this when I was in middle school/high school as well. I’m nineteen now and I still face similar challenges in university, as my exams are taken separately and I know all of the people in my class. I’ve noticed that as I’ve gotten older, people/ classmates/ friends haven’t really asked me directly about my accommodations because I think people realize that it might be rude/ inappropriate.
However, when I was thirteen, people weren’t always so considerate so I completely understand what your daughter is feeling. It is awkward, to feel like she has to explain to people why she has accomodations when kids at thirteen just want to blend in. Helpful and considerate teachers are very important in this case. In my experience, teachers who are aware and keep it incredibly low key are such a blessing.
As for classmates, I’d suggest not delving into it at all. Middle school and high school kids can be mean and rumors can spread like wildfire. I used to joke whenever someone asked me about my accomodations. It’d be somewhere along the lines of “Cause I’m just special” or “Cause I do “insert obvious silly thing” during exams”. I’ve found that my classmates usually admire the confidence and leave it alone as we move on to other topics. I’ve told some of my friends, and have regretted it on certain occasions. In general, my rule is if I’m going to tell someone, I had better be SURE that they won’t turn it into something ugly and spread it around.
Hope this helps 😀