Hi kullboys, I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this. I was so moved by your post that I joined ADDitude just to reply to you. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago and I know the journey up from the depths of shame. It gets better, it really does!
About the IRS issue: I don’t have any specific programs to suggest, but I’ve worked in finance for a long time, and I have family members who worked for the IRS. Here’s what I can tell you: they are the LAST people who are going to judge you! They get a bad rap, but they are humans with faults just like us. For all the shame you feel, they will not add to it! (Unless you get the odd turkey there, every place of employment has one or two.) The folks at the IRS have seen it all, and what really torques them off is the people who use fraud and craftiness to evade paying their fair share. They see that kind of thing every day of the week and they have no patience for it. But when they encounter a person like you who is genuine, who’s made mistakes but honestly wants to fix things, that makes their day. They won’t shame you, they’ll help you.
Steel your courage and approach them, it won’t be as bad as your imagination is telling you!