Reply To: I feel so left out – it’s like I’m invisible. Any advice please?

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#104298
xian
Participant

Yup. Very familiar. My wife is a partner at one of the largest law firms in the world. Though no longer as true (she’s been a partner for 10yrs now) once upon a time I was expected to attend social events with people I did not know, frankly, did not care to know, and… because most partners are men, I was often left with the expectation that I socialize with the wives (who, generally were nice but entirely disinterested in me). Combine that with my INTJ personality type. Disaster was not the right word… but it created tremendous anticipitory stress and often fights with my wife because I did not want to go, my wife regarded my attendence as an expectation (not so certain this was true), and, she would rely on me as an island of refuge in the sea of bs-erry that she was swimming in. Which, of course, made me feel like a prop (which, I guess I was – but we sometimes need to do these things for our loved ones).

So, you are not alone. Awkward social situations will occur, for whatever reason. The advice abovs is sound. Find your tribe. It took me a long time but patience was rewarded. It will be for you as well.

Hang in there – those worth paying attention to will reveal themselves by paying attention to you and others around them.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by xian.