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What worked for us was two things was to 1) say “Let’s not talk about me, what about…” and change the subject and 2) (MOST important) get her to cultivate an additional set of friends OUTSIDE of school. e.g. church (or synagogue, etc.), camp, YMCA, or other activities that are not tied to school. That way she can also develop her identity in environments where others are less likely to make judgments about her based on her differences.