Reply To: texting issues

#104260
KcassieB
Participant

My mom, brother, and sister all have add (and I probably do too – I’m getting tested soon). The one thing three of us struggle with consistently (my brother excluded) is phone use :o. I came to the point that I’d lose my phone for a few days to a week only to realize that it was in my purse. Other times I text my SO and things are good, but I get distracted and four hours later I realize I haven’t replied. There are two things you have to do: 1) let her know how it makes you feel. People with ADD are not just perpetually stuck. Given structure/goals etc, we can overcome things if we know it’s important. She’s going to feel incredibly frustrated at herself, her mind, but if she cares enough about you enough, she’ll work at it. Maybe she won’t be as good at texting as you’d hope for, but she’ll still get better. 2) You need to understand. Understanding is not innate, it doesn’t come easy. I’ve had to learn to understand with my mom, brother, and sister. But seeing my mom and dad together, her ADD isn’t a hinderance – our home at times has frustration but mostly we just all have a good time. You’re going to ask her to fight something inside of her. You can only do the same for her – if she doesn’t respond then put the phone down, find something else to do and check your phone only now and then. If she replies great! But her lack of response, as you will have to train yourself if you really care, is not a rejection. Be patient because, as I’ve learned after 21 years of being late to school, work, and every other thing imaginable because of family – getting angry will only make things worse. Be patient, always expect more, and celebrate the small victories. ADD isn’t disease, it’s another way of functioning.