Reply To: 15 yr old daughter and Social Skills

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Our 15yo daughter is a Freshman, and really only at about 7th grade level emotionally. We’ve experienced many of the same things, she was fine until mid-7th grade when all her peer girlfriends really started maturing and leaving her behind. There were a few times we heard her on the phone crying, trying to get an explanation from friends why they didn’t want to hang out with her. Our daughter also creates drama, says (to friends, not us) that she is suicidal, that she can’t stand her homelife, that we scream at her etc. The reality is our homelife is quite pleasant. So the question (like your daughter) is why the “lies”? She has been to a behavioral specialist (who also administers her ADD meds) and he is not concerned about her suicide notes, telling this to friends etc. because nothing else she does is alarming, she is not withdrawn, she seems happy with current friends (like yours, they are more school friends, than good one on one friends) she keeps up with schoolwork, she is active in many sports activities etc. So all this is quite a mystery to us too. Something seems to drive them to create drama, or in their minds they are creating something that doesn’t exist, but they think is real. I am concerned that this will extend to stories about friends and “boyfriends” and she will get herself or someone else in trouble for no reason. I’ve already had some awkward conversations with other parents when their daughters tell them about our daughters behavior. We have gotten the “I don’t know” answer from our daughter many many times when asking for an explanation. Honestly we are hoping she will gradually mature and catch up with everyone else. She does seem to slowly be getting better.