I I am right there with you. I feel exactly the same. My therapist (only one of 100 I’ve had over the years is only in one day a week. I tried to politely to change and she wouldn’t let me. But that doesn’t really matter because as much as I want to go when the appointment is made by the time one if my 17 alarms, reminders or any of the other apps I’ve downloaded to help me manage my time does do it’s thing…but I just don’t do it. I don’t know why. It seems so simple.
Mean while my life is a mess. I’m deeply depressed. My life is Disorganized but if You breakdown exactly what I do with the Majority of my day, it’s spent documenting and listing and planning to try and be org organized. Worse is that I used to be fine. A horrible marriage to a very abusive man cost me everything. I had 3 houses. I’ve paid off 4 cars and I u used to have a Car and several homes I FUNCTIONED FINE. But then I was on. Medication and wasn’t dealing with PTSD. After a battle in witch he stalked and threatened and stole everything from me and oulegal system rem failed me completely and has allowed him to just keep dragging me to court and costing me thousands. I still have sole custody. He’s been incarcerated 3 times but I was forced to move in with parents. I mean forced. My father wa was helping me move into an apartmept while I was at work and they towed his truck. Twice. He called me at work and told me he was moving me out and to come to there place after work. I begged him not to. My job was new so I couldn’t race home. In a fit of anger he boxed me up put my furniture outside and my daughter and I were stuck. I lost my job because I still ended missing work and I have barely worked since. I’ve been here ever since. But now. He takes a weekly 30 monite stab at my self-esteem screaming at calling me a liar manipulative lazy and a piece if shit. He says my refusal to keep an organized room is a choice and It’s my way of me telling him I have no respect. When I do try to remember small things like taking dishes out and putting dishes away it’s never noticed and we always go back to how I ALWAYS OR NEVER And he says I’m just ungrateful lazy and rude. I end up. Hysterical, unable to form a articulate sentence and it’s a regular occurrence. He’s so quick to awesome I’m just a horrible person. I try and explain but that’s me lying he says or me blaming everyone for my problems. If I beg him to please not tell me what a horrible person I am the I’m really trying he just continues. So I litteraly feel hopeless. I don’t know what to do either.