To ADHDSpouse123…I am deeply impressed by the kindness expressed in your reply and for the supportive energy that I feel immediately after reading many of the posts.
I waited way too long to seek reassurance; evidence of where my esteem had sunk. But now I feel a mountain of relief.
My husband acknowledges his limitations. He was brought up in a macho environment so receiving his diagnosis was like being labeled inferior. I’ve made modifications in how I approach all subjects with him. That helps immensely.
But the roller coaster, the manic nightmare you wrote about is still so beyond unhealthy at times. Add to that, after the many years we’ve tied ourselves together, the idea of unwinding these ties is daunting.
I believe there is wisdom in what you wrote about in not immersing yourself 100% into your relationship. I will work a bit more on that.
Among the other things I have in place, sharing on this forum is a step in the right direction. Giving your time and energy in thoughts and in writing fulfills a timeless principle, “more happiness in giving than receiving”.
It also defies the notion that we’re taking this situation lying down. I feel so much stronger because of having received support. So it’s a divine kind of crazy cycle. The kind of merry-go-round I don’t totally mind being on right now!
I hope others will read and reach out when they feel as broken as I did two days ago.