Its so frustrating. Just reading this, I am projecting every single experience that culminated in frustration, tears, and trying to validate myself to those who seemed to matter (AKA: doctors, employers, insurance when trying to get ADHD meds covered… My sister…). I am 35 years old, two degrees, 15 years of teaching and child development experience, and apparently those qualifications over qualify me to the basic public for having ADHD. The one thing that I have learned is that I have to advocate for myself. And though most of the time I have no idea what that even means, it is the most important and hardest thing I have learned. When fighting against the system for help with experiences you know you are having and unable to validate them to those you expect to help you, its demeaning… Like you are imagining everything.
But, if you are truly having these experiences, the right doctor is not someone you should need to validate yourself too. You may just need to pick through the weeds until you find the right one. My unsolicited advice: Look for an educational psychiatrist/psychologist or at least one who specializes in adult ADHD. They are the ones who listen and have experience. Find that match and you will no longer need to validate yourself to the doctors who just don’t get it.
I still continue to come across them, but one thing that I remember: they may have the certificate and student debt but they don’t need my respect or my time. They are just people… And I am allowed to judge them and their professional practice just as much as they are allowed to judge me as a patient. So, I look for someone else. Sounds cynical… But ultimately it is very self-empowering to realize I can keep looking for the right person and my experiences are mine to own and no one, not even doctors have a right to diminish them.
If it is or isn’t ADHD, I am of the mind that you still have experiences to sort through and no one as a right to say you they didn’t happen. Good luck!