Reply To: I’ve lost hope, will and desire to go on and keep trying

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#102678
adore.d.d
Participant

Thank you for sharing, especially because my life hasn’t exactly been easy. I felt the same way as a child going up. I never seemed to fit in anywhere. I ended up dropping out of school, had a baby at 17 and married at 19. The guy I married decided he didn’t want to be a grown up anymore and left me with our daughter who was 1 at the time. I fell apart and that’s was when I started using drugs but mostly MDMA. Every weekend I would get a babysitter so Iso I could party. I felt happy for once and loved but eventually I realized it was just lie. myself This isn’t how I imagined my life as a kid. Feeling alone, dumb, worthless. I asked myself is this the kind if person I want to be for my kid? Long story short. I found God for myself and truly went all in for one year. I know sounds crazy but I told God if he is real, I will give it a shot for one year. If he isn’t I would probably go back to drugs. Sad but true. In that year I had out I was ADHD at the age of 30. Went to college ending up with honors and now working with ESE Students at a Middle School. I’m now almost 40. I still cry and messed up but The difference now is I know God loves me and I have the honor of helping kids that are going through the emotional rollercoaster as I did and still am. So, I want you to know, “I get it, Lifetotally sucks.” But never give up on yourself, pick yourself up after a good cry and forgive yourself and move on. There is hope if you want to find it. Xoxo PS. I hope I didn’t mess up to bad because my cell will only allow me to see the word I am texting. So Sorry 😉