Like someone mentioned, private schools don’t need to accommodate students with learning difficulties. I think she’s too young for you to be concerned about high school and college. 504 plans you don’t need to let colleges know about if you don’t want to and aren’t seeking accommodations, however an iep goes on a child’s academic record, at least in our state they do.
My son went on a 504 for about six months in middle school and it didn’t do much for him. He didn’t need extra time for test taking. All they did was move him to the front of the class. No cutback in homework which is what we were seeking. He was smart and they knew it so they pushed him.
He’s in his senior year now of high school. He’s been managing to get by all these years, sometimes barely, and sometimes he hits it out of the ball park. Of course we’d prefer his grades to always be high Bs and As but he’s doing it on his own and he’s proud of it. We had tutors after school at home to help him so no one at school needed to know and this year he’s flying solo and doing rather well. For him, he didn’t want to be different from other kids so it was important to him that he didn’t have accommodations that separated and labeled him from others. High school is an awkward time at best for kids so I respected his concerns and as long as he passes I’m happy for him. For us, our thinking is: life isn’t going to accommodate you when you’re out in the work force. Try to deal the best you can with what you have.
Everyone’s child is different but for us this was the best for him.