Reply To: Feeling resentful about his ADHD

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#102166
kbj2017
Participant

@ADHDSpouse123
Thanks so much for your encouragement! I really appreciate it! ADHD is an uphill battle for me every single day (I just started a new anxiety medication today (anxiety is a side effect of my Vyvanse)…and I just feel completely detached from EVERYTHING. Almost apathetic. AND I MISSED CLASS AGAIN). This isn’t good! I have to stop getting in my own way so much but I can’t help it. It seems like no matter how much better I’m doing, I find a way to mess it up!!
WOW THIS IS A LOT OF MOOD SWINGS!
I’m sorry if this is similar to the ’50-50 switch’ that you refer to with your SO from positive to negative. Emotional maturity isn’t exactly my strongest attribute (I’m having a hard time maintaining my emotions as I’m typing this). And I’m INCREDIBLY hard on myself for any flaws or mistakes I make (including my ADHD). I can tell myself I’ll be fine (which I probably will due to my ADHD) but I can’t help but feel the EXTREME disappointment coming from myself & my family; It’s overwhelming.
My mom even said she’d kick me out if I missed class again. I’m actually scared because I don’t know what’s going to happen here. But I’ll have to accept it whatever it is. The pressure & challenge of the responsibility of being an adult LET ALONE an adult with ADHD every day just feels so heavy on me!

But, it’s GREAT & I’m happy that those strategies are working for you! Keep it up!
(Trust me I’m being sincere here)

I can live with ADHD, but how come whenever I feel like I’m starting to get a handle on it (I haven’t missed a single class in the last month), I slip up or make a stupid mistake? I thought these bad habits were past me but I guess they’ll never go away. These habits, along with my emotions & self-esteem are going to keep being my undoing in my life.

-Kendall Boults Jr.