Thanks so much for your insight. I really appreciate it! Yes – the positives of the spontaneous/adventurous side to him are what’s really hurting to let go of. I was quite fragile last night and had a tension headache all day. I obviously don’t take breaking connections off very well. I have stress in other areas of my life – like feeling stuck and unsure what I want to do career-wise – and I feel like that’s potentially spilling over into my love life right now. John is incredible – but the fact I’ve had these nagging pulls since LAST January really concerns me. I feel like if I’m truly listening to myself my body keeps giving me signs that MAYBE just MAYBE this isn’t the right life partner for me. What is awful is John and I connect in such an amazing way that I feel like he’s my best friend and would be an amazing companion – but I don’t think he’d be able to handle the stress of being a dad or I would be able to handle the stress of a lifetime of managing the ADHD. I think that’s why my soul has felt so conflicted for MONTHS – there’s so much good – so much good – but there’s also the two biggest stresses of dealing with ADHD consistently and the other downside is his immediate family (aside from his Dad) are unkind. I know the relationship shouldn’t revolve around them – but that’s kind of a nagging factor as well. I experienced family issues with others in the past and it terrified me to have that in my future.
Again, thanks so much for your advice and for listening. Does anybody else here have thoughts? Thank you!