I challenge you to stop looking at it as “refusal.” She’s old enough to know what will and won’t help her. Make a contract with her. State that the is to offer accommodation suggestions and let everyone know what she thinks will help. Those accommodations will be implemented and tested as long as she is using them and showing effort. If not, she must use accommodations recommended by parents and school staff. No matter low logical and accommodation is, it simply may not work for her brain.
Also consider the impact overwhelm can have on someone with ADHD. It sparks anxiety, which can be paralyzing. And slow processing speed could very well be at play.
Kids want to do well. Truly. There’s still some hurdle that hasn’t been addressed, or she’d be doing well.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism