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#101705
Whatmom
Participant

The fact that I have done actions in the past does not magically take away my ADHD now. As I am sure you have had moments where you were focused on things or you were having an awesome relationship or you were successful at something, that does not fix the issues you have today.
That was 4 years ago that I saw that doctor.
It took me 2 years to make that appointment happen.
The reason I don’t just find another doctor is the same reason I don’t just brush my teeth everyday.
I’m not sure if you’re understanding executive functioning disorder, but it’s that last spark where your brain tells your body to do any action, its actually a subconscious connection between you thinking of a thing to do and then your body actually doing it. It doesn’t matter how much the action is thought about or how many times I say ok I’m going to do this right now, I cannot DO the action.
If, for example, I know it’s time to do laundry, I have an alarm go off I think about going to do it, I may even stand up or start walking toward the laundry room but then suddenly my mind is blank from that thought. And I don’t even know it’s blank until later. It’s like when you actually do a small task and your brain checks it off and forgets it, you don’t think about the task anymore because it was insignificant and has been completed. Mine does it before the task is complete and no matter how important the task is. It’s not even the thought of perhaps I forgot something, it just is not in my brain at all.
I have zero problems focusing when I am writing or typing.
Unfortunately there are no doctors who communicate with patients just by email. I can’t even find one I can make an appointment with online. I have to call.
When I try to speak out loud to people my mind goes completely blank. I have absolutely nothing in my head. The anxiety of that contributes to procrastination and further prohibits me from taking actions when I do seem to be able to take action.
I do not have friends or family who can take the time to help me.
I am a single mom. If I had in person help I probably wouldn’t be where I am today.