Oh my! This sounds all too familiar! My daughter is now 25. She was diagnosed with ADHD in 4th grade. Despite a high IQ and high test scores (on standardized tests), she struggled with grades. The homework battles were endless. She flunked Freshman honors English and had to make it as a night class at the local community college. She took their placement test, and tested into college-level English. How frustrating that she couldn’t pass Freshman english, but tested at college level! It took me a long time to realize it was the difficulty in writing papers and turning in work, but her reading and comprehension were extraordinary. In junior year, we found out that students could take the AP tests without taking the classes, which was a huge win. While her friends struggled through AP English classes, she took regular English, took the AP test at the end of the year, passed it and got college credit. Somehow she managed to make it through high school, but not without a lot of struggles, fights and tears from both of us. She made it into college, had some struggles there also, but after 5 years she walked with her graduating class. A few months later, when her diploma didn’t come in the mail, she finally admitted that she still has one class to finish. Fast forward to today, 2 1/2 years later . . . . still no diploma 🙂 Although she won’t tell us the details, I know she’s in contact with her teacher and I am keeping good thoughts that she will pass this darn class! Despite it all, she is working full-time, she’s committed to her job and doing well.
Do I have any advice?!! Not really, except don’t give up, keep trying different tactics until something seems to stick. With understanding, patience (and lots of that!), compassion (along with therapy and medication!), they will make a life for themselves.