mum2quinn – My daughter consistently lied about not having homework, or having it done as well. Last year, we implemented a signature sheet – any class where she missed an assignment, for the rest of the semester she had to have that teacher sign a sheet on Friday saying whether she had any missing work that week. If she did, there were no activities that weekend. That seemed to work well.
You made a very good point about when she cares enough about something, she will work through problems. In my situation, I cared waaaayy more than my daughter did about her schoolwork. Once I trained myself to remember that it’s HER schoolwork & HER consequences, and I started showing her that I felt bad for her when she did poorly (rather than feeling bad MYSELF that she did poorly), I really do think she started to take on more of the caring about how she was doing in school. That doesn’t mean she didn’t experience consequences for missing work, we just framed it as “it looks like you didn’t have enough time to complete your homework this week. We’ll be sure you have enough time next week by __” (giving you an hour each day over the weekend to work on it, or having your phone put away for an extra hour during the week so you have more time to focus on schoolwork, etc.). Laying the worry, responsibility and natural consequences on her shoulders has made my load lighter, and seems to have made her care more. (It’s rough in the beginning though, because it feels like NO one is carrying that load. But stick with it, it’s worth it!) Hang in there, mama!