As a 57yr old male that fits your daughters discription to the letter I wish to add my perspective if you will?
Pushing me was the last thing that my parents should have done. I could learn the subjects in no time at all, but I refused to turn in the homework because in my eyes it was wasted time. I figured that if I could pass the final test with a 90% or above, homework was “stupid.” Telling my patents that I was smarter than they were wasn’t a good idea, so I acted ignorant about the homework and waited for the tests. Eventually I decided to drop out of school and join the Army. At 17, I was in the Army, married and expecting my first child. (Some may think I had to get married, that was not the case). I needed the structure and urgency that the Army gave me. Getting married was what I thought I should be doing at that stage of my life. Or, was it?
I have a severe case of RSD. Of course I didn’t know that at the time, but if you were to tell me that I couldn’t do something, I was going to show you that you were wrong, and I was not. Which brings me to my point. It took my Commanding Officer telling me that I was not worth a thing. That the Army made a terrible mistake when they let me join. Then he barred me from reenlistment, kicked me out og his Battery, and sent me to see the CSM at Battalion. The can asked me what I was looking for and I told him I didn’t want to be wasting time doing a job I was not trained to do. He put me in A Battery doing my trained job. Within a few months they lifted the bar, promoted me, and talked me into reenlisting. From there on, I took control of my life’s direction. My education became important, not only did I get my GED, I went on to get my diploma, and a degree in computer science.
Sometimes it can take someone else to get us going. My mother never gave up on me. Food for thought is all. Sorry for the long story. I tend to ramble.