Reply To: High School Freshman Refusing to do Schoolwork

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Thank you all for your input. I first want to clarify that my daughter is only in one honors class (English)and it was by her choosing. Aside from that, her other classes are biology, integrated math, art, PE, and band. This means she only has to keep track of work in three classes, and at least 75% of the work could be completed in class. Because teachers don’t update the online grades consistently, I discovered today that my daughter has been continuing to let things slide, and only doing the bare minimum to catch up when warned that she will miss a band performance or competition. She also lied about completing her biology work.

My main concern isn’t that she can’t do her work, it’s that she won’t do her work. As I stated in my original post, we continually offer supports, as does the school counselor. She is very adept at explaining why they won’t work for her and flat out refuses to try them. I have learned over time that this is a defense mechanism that allows her to continue along on her familiar path, rather than try. What I’ve noticed through band and TKD is that she is willing to work through challenges or find a different way to succeed, if she cares about it enough.

I know many will disagree with my current approach, but it comes after years of manipulation and lying and with full support of our counselor. Because of the lying, phone privileges will be lost. And because of continued poor grades and minimal work completion, she will have until Thursday to complete missing assignments and get signatures from her teachers to show that they have been turned in or she will be benched from this weekend’s band competition.