Reply To: I can’t forgive and forget and bare grudges

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#101583
Mark2Mom
Participant

Yes, I can identify so much with holding grudges, exploding on people “I” perceive as being purposely rude to me and, IT’S CRIPPLING ME!!! I, too, am a loner but most of the time it’s because I’m afraid to get close with anyone for fear that they will say or do something that “I” take the wrong way. Even if my instincts are true, I wonder why it bothers me so much where others can just get over it. I am what people would consider “attractive” but it’s so hard for me to date anyone for long periods of time because either I demand more time for myself (mostly to avoid them finding out I’m not always attractive on the inside), and because I can get so upset in public & embarrass them. I am now trying to think the opposite of my feelings. For example, If I “feel” like someone is treating me a certain way, and I feel the need to let them know I’m not stupid; I know what you’re doing, instead, I tell myself they’re not even thinking about you or they really may not know that they’ve done something. Just like when I bumped into someone & they get an attitude even though I apologized, I know I didn’t do it on purpose & I walk away thinking they’re the crazy one for not accepting an apology. Like I said, I’m trying this out because I am really suffering…