Reply To: Frustrated I can’t do the most simple things as a mum. Any advice please?

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#101566
over the rainbow
Participant

I have been diagnosed and find every day tough for so many of the reasons you have listed. My psychiatrist told me to block out just thirty minutes a day to do something with my daughter, with all attention on her- no more, no less. Children want your time and focus and thirty minutes is all it takes. On the other stuff… I’m trying to plan one shop for the week, repetition is good because it means you don’t have to think… Baked potatoes, spaghetti Bolognese, fish pie, sausages mash and peas, vegetable soup with toast… Packed lunches, same thing every week… Clothes and washing is a familiar one, I’ve started doing it all on a Saturday for the whole week… I find it easier to do it once than multiple times… Same with cleaning (Friday)… Finances/bills get sorted on a Tuesday. Ive also basically binned my life- the less there is, the less there is to organise. Have done the same thing with my daughter. Making sure there are set locations for things in the house (key hooks and dog lead hook in the kitchen… It’s a random place but it works because it’s where I would dump stuff when I get in)… There are so many great resources and tips on this site but the best advice I’ve been given is don’t try to be too much or punish yourself for what you don’t do. When everything is a struggle every day, celebrate the small successes. Do things once wherever you can (filling the car with gas rather than multiple trips, making a bulk pasta salad for a week’s lunches). Set yourself a routine and stick to it…. Don’t snooze the alarm. Exercise every day vigorously for an hour, get enough sleep and just take care of your emotional well-being…. Make healthy eating as easy as possible (it does make a difference to focus)… I nutribullet every morning with omegas, berries and avocado… roast vegetables with balsamic and stock and blend them into a pasta sauce… We have also started trying to connect through board games… No televisions, ipads, multiple conversations at once… It makes it easier to stay present. I’m saying all of this stuff and I try to stick to it, but sometimes it all goes wrong… Sometimes I just want to zone out let the kids watch TV, miss bath and storytime, don’t get prepped the night before and just fail massively. On those days I try to go to bed, wake up energised, take five minutes to brain dump everything before I start again and hopefully have a better tomorrow. I would also say if you haven’t been diagnosed, go get diagnosed. I finally took the plunge 18 months ago and it changed my life… Once you know what the problem is you can start getting informed, put strategies that actually help in place and finally stop feeling like a failure. At work I get in, take my meds and write my to do list. I plug into music so I don’t get distracted by conversations around me. I get up regularly and I have a job that works in a project based way… Means every day is different, I rarely get bored and thrive under deadline pressure. Good luck!