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I’m in a similar situation- three kids- though there is another parent in the house, which helps a lot. But like any relationship, a lot falls to me.
My best advice is PUT.EVERYTHING.ON.YOUR.CALENDAR! No matter how trivial it seems, when you forget to do it, it becomes non-trivial very quickly! Do the dishes- shop for towels- fix my glasses- meet my son at school- Everything. I use my phone as much as I can like a personal organizer- and it has become absolutely essential to my quality of life!
Another thing I use is timers. If something needs to be checked in 5, 10, 30 minutes- I set a timer. Also I use a timer to keep on task at work. I use the Pomodoro technique- 20 minute (though I started with 10!!!) work intervals, followed by a 5 minute break. I’ve become so much more productive with that technique!
Good luck! You’ve got a lot to juggle. But with a little tech support, you can do it!