Reply To: I can’t forgive and forget and bare grudges

Home Welcome to the ADDitude Forums For Adults Symptoms, Diagnosis & Beyond I can’t forgive and forget and bare grudges Reply To: I can’t forgive and forget and bare grudges

#101051
ChloeChapman
Participant

I know this is late but Im new on here. I am the same way. I do not think it is bc of introversion. I dont think its bc of our so called “poor social skills”. For me, it is because I see people more clearly than “neurotypicals”. So its not that I only dont forgive behavior in certain scenarios, but I can read nuances that tell me if someone has selfish motives, or lacks integrity, etc. Then, my problem is I cant lie to myself and just pretend its “okay” to be around this person. To me, it feels dishonest and like you I cant get over it. Most people I know or have ever known, cant see these things in other people, are fine to pretend with other people, or fine to lie to themselves abt the nature of people bc they dont want to deal with reality. Im not insulting them, in many ways I envy them bc they dont have the inner conflict I always have. A strong sense of justice. But the reality is, people are flawed. I have had to forgive a few people recently bc it had been years since I interacted with them,and ar some point it just isnt reasonable to not give people a chance again. I have so much work still to do on myself, and walling more people off from me doesnt seem healthy. Take care.