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I am so sorry I feel your pain I went through this with my son. Has your son also been diagnosed with any other learning disabilities? Does he have a hard time, spelling, with his handwriting, putting his thoughts on paper? Is he gifted and talented or on a advanced learning plan. We found my son to be all of the above and a lot of the time although medication can decrease the outbursts their is an under-lying cause at school. Usually frustration or board-om.
We identified that my sons anxiety and frustration was based on his lack of supports and proper intervention at school. He is in a social emotional program, has dysgraphia, and high functioning autistic, it took me years to get him the right supports. They kept telling me he did not qualify for an IEP- independent education plan because he was to start, he is just being gammy they would say. When actually he qualified for SED, autism and a learning disability. And yes I know this is not what they call is anymore but the average person does not know or understand the difference. I had to fight like hell to get him the services he needed. He is now 11 and is doing good enough that I do not get calls weekly anymore and the best thing we did for him was change him schools twice so he could start over with kids, well not so much the kids but the kids parents were the issue. They just want to judge kids like this and are meaner than the kids in the school how just tattled on him for every little thing and we always had the one kid who liked the dramatic outbursts and bad behavior so they would bully and trigger him. Thinking it was funny. Our poor society is so cruel to kinds with mental illness or other issues even if it is ADHD, which in my experience of over 15 years it is never just ADHD.